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Welcome to my site. Here are my humorous thoughts about being a millennial, my food and cooking ideas, and my photography/travel adventures. Hope you enjoy my work!

Actual Florida #Truths

Actual Florida #Truths

When one thinks of Florida, they may think sunny skies, bright green palm trees, margs on the beach, and super rich old people. I'll tell you part of that sentence is accurate, and sometimes the whole sentence is accurate. But, true Floridians have different things that come to mind when they think of 'home'.


1. Ah, the acidic, nose-burning sweet smell of molten, hot tar from just about every single parking lot you'll ever come across. Smells like home!

2. Oh listen there! The melodic tunes of squawking seagulls as they soar above your head everywhere you walk, signaling not thoughts of the beach but instead thoughts of how your car now has a white speckled roof. 

3. Speaking of cars... Floridians can get away with any crime because we haven't had fingerprints. Bet you didn't know that. Ever since we turned 16, smoldering steering wheels took care of those pesty fingerprints long, long ago.

4. Still speaking of cars... In the typically-associated-summer-months of June, July and August, you have your windshield wipers on more often than you turn signal. Mhmm, the monotonous swish of the blades clearing your vision for a half-second. 

5. Also, there are the fun times where you could be driving right toward a sunny, blissful heaven, and then, take just one turn at a light and suddenly face a wall of blackness, also known as a thunderstorm. Heaven and Hell, am I right?

6. Playing "Eenie Meenie Miney Mo" with your umbrella walking in a lightning storm is a grand 'ole game we played growing up! And we also do a little "not today, not today" mumbling as we run to our cars in a thunderstorm.

7. It's both a moral and a citizen obligation to have a tan, and bless you if you don't have a tan and go out-of-state because you'll never hear the end of "You're from Florida? Why aren't you tanner?"

8. We're so used to the jokes about Floridians that we finish the sentence before the person making fun of us does. And then yawn and move on.

9. To all the jealous comments of "Aw, you must go to the beach all the time! You're so lucky!" No, we don't because we have jobs, we don't like large crowds, and there's no A/C. 

10. Lastly, you see those leathery-skinned old ladies on the beach not ashamed to be in a bathing suit in their 80s, with a margarita in one hand and a Harry Potter book in the other and think to yourself, "That's going to be me some day."



Have living, Floridians! Have another classic-FL idea to add? Comment below and let's get this list to 20. 

xOx

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